I was late to the parenting game, I had my son when I was 36 and my daughter just 6 months shy of my 40th Birthday. There was a good deal of confusion amongst my family and friends when my partner and I announced our first pregnancy - was this an accident? I couldn’t blame them for wondering. Previously, I had been quite allergic to children. The first baby I ever held was my own. For most of my life, I was staunchly entrenched in the firm belief that I would never have children. And also, I reserve the right to change my mind. And I’m so glad I did.

To say I was unprepared for the rigours of Motherhood however, was a gross understatement. Back when my son arrived, I had no idea what being a Projector meant, that my energy was precious and fleeting and that I needed to prioritise rest. Anyone who’s taken the ride into Parenthood will tell you it’s exhausting - those first few months in particular - but boy do I wish I knew then what I know now.

I came across Human Design in February of 2022, listening to podcasts while I edited images in my photography studio. The guest speaker told the two hosts about their Type in Human Design - one was a Manifesting Generator (that sounds exactly like Mark!) and the other was a Projector (that sounds exactly like me!) Pause everything, text my husband for his birth time; generate both our charts and stare dumbfounded at our Designs - indeed, Mark is a Mani-Gen and I am a Projector. I had never felt so seen.

Over the years I’d pursued every kind of archetyping modality you can think of in an effort to see myself more clearly - The Enneagram, Myers-Briggs, DISC profiling - you name it. They all relied on self-assessment (am I answering how I truly am, or how I want to be?), the results could change depending on when you took the self-assessment, and upon learning about your profile or number or archetype, there wasn’t much in the way of answering the inevitable “what now?”

Human Design is different. It is super specific, not generalised in the way that half a billion Scorpios feel after reading their horoscope. Not only did the simple Type description resonate SO deeply that I was able to easily discern my husbands and my Type just from a few sentences, but there was actionable strategies that were easy to use to know when you were off-track or in alignment, how to best make decisions (hint: it’s not with your mind!) how to work best with others and how to recognise and lean into your own particular strengths. Within minutes of generating a chart for Mark and I, I went straight to generating our kids charts. And the knowledge and understanding of their Designs has been a game changer in our household.

As a parent, this tool has been unparalleled in helping me see the vital ways in which my children are geared very differently to me - and instead of operating in a ‘one rule for everyone’ way, being able to truly see them for HOW they best respond to all manner of things - from bed-time routines, to emotional meltdowns, needing either alone time or physical touch, eating behaviours, decision making, willpower & motivation and SO, so much more.

Understanding their designs and how they overlaid with both mine and my husband’s has brought a peace to our home I previously thought impossible, and made genuine, deep connection between us all easy, effortless and enjoyable.

It is the closest thing to finding that ‘instruction manual’ we all wish our babies came with, and I can’t imagine how different my own foundation of self-worth could have been if I’d been raised with awareness of this knowledge.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Being seen for who we truly are is life affirming. Being made to fit in to an operating system that does not work for you can be soul destroying. Brene Brown‘s extensive research into the difference between ‘fitting in’ and true ‘belonging’ is a sobering account of the way in which we have all experienced the profound difference between those two states - and a stark reminder that I do not want to perpetuate a system of parenting dominated by continuously prioritising my own convenience over the true needs of my children.

I firmly believe that almost any skill can be learned and improved with practice - but self-worth and self-value are the bedrock upon which all other achievements stand. Without them, your foundation is weak, tenuous, ever-shifting. Self-doubt and low self-worth will sabotage almost any endeavour.  It will steer you into friendships, partnerships and experiences that can have disastrous outcomes - physically, mentally, emotionally and financially. As parents, we ALL want the best for our kids. But that doesn’t mean the latest toy, hottest gadget or fanciest luxury trip.

That means an unshakeable belief in their own self-worth.

That means understanding where the ‘not good enough’ stories start to take root, and continuously re-orienting them back to their own inner authority. It means letting them BE in their own way of being, and not making them wrong for doing it their way. And that comes from understanding how they are uniquely wired to see the world, respond to things, experience their emotions, their thoughts and their expression, how they learn, what environments are nourishing or stimulating for them, how much rest or physical movement is going to be most beneficial for them, and how to recognise their grapples and lean into their gifts so they can develop the most important tool of all - self-trust.

If you’d told me a few years ago that these things - and so much more - were accessible through a modality such as Human Design, I’d have scoffed. And I’m not here to convince you of anything. Human Design is a tool - if it’s useful, great! If not - put it down. It doesn’t require you to believe in anything. It is an experiment. It gives you a roadmap, and you can test it out - instead of enquiring ‘is this true?’ I’ve found myself more often asking ‘is this helpful?’ And so far, knowing my kids’ Human Design has been the single most helpful thing I have encountered in my parenting journey.

If you’re curious about how knowing your kids’ Human Design can change things for the better in your parenting journey, I invite you to book a call with me. It’s free and there’s zero pressure. You can ask any questions you may have, we can connect as humans, and you can see if you want to go further down this path of discovery with a reading.